Wednesday, May 12, 2010


The years are like floating dandelion seed stars; they float on the air and disappear without even noticing their absence. I’ve made a decision this year and that decision is to write a book on adoption and my story. There are so many stories out there and each so valuable in their own unique way of weaving and unfolding their adoption experiences.

I want to share my process of healing and use words that are spiritual and not heard enough in our regular experience of the world. I don’t want to edit my healing process and yet I don’t want my story to be about the trauma of it all…but about the joy of it, the challenge of it, the overcoming in it, the growth from it, the learning of myself through it. It feels big in that the story has such wiggly edges and it seems hard to move it into one format.



In my writing group where I have begun to share my writing I am full of feeling when I read my writing. Others in the group don’t always understand. I am trying to give them context of the triad experiences and information about reunion etc. They are slow at learning and that is all right. My heart just gets vulnerable in the process when they read what I write and say, “This is what women experience in general.” And I know they don’t understand.

I ask myself if my book is for the layman or is it for “us”? I want to speak to other adoptees who know my language…who know the journey…who know the inner world of this experience. Sometime my writing group member’s words feel as if they were throwing stones at me without even realizing it.

Maybe writing a book will help me see that they aren’t throwing stones…but that they just don’t understand. It doesn’t matter if they understand…what matters is that I understand the journey and the pearls that came along the way…and that I speak to those who are like me and who live inside the same warp and weave in the texture of their lives.

32 Comments:

Blogger Glennie9654 said...

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3:53 AM  
Blogger 啟佐 said...

Just do it!.......................................................

5:31 PM  
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7:23 PM  
Blogger 怡君 said...

要像鐵鎚和釘子一樣,永遠向著定點努力。......................................................

7:50 AM  
Blogger 淑怡 said...

要保持更新呦,加油!!!期待你的新文章!!! ........................................

11:15 PM  
Blogger 歐英傑 said...

Time and tide wait for no man. ............................................................

5:02 AM  
Blogger 張孟勳 said...

Man proposes, God disposes...................................................................

8:22 PM  
Blogger Kath黃rinA俊宇 said...

It is never too late to learn. ..................................................................

12:44 PM  
Blogger sada said...

支持你就對了!

7:20 PM  
Blogger 葉婷 said...

在莫非定律中有項笨蛋定律:「一個組織中的笨蛋,恆大於等於三分之二。」......................................................................

1:22 AM  
Blogger 王瑞 said...

河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。.................................................................

8:06 PM  
Blogger 湘均湘均 said...

向著星球長驅直進的人,反比踟躕在峽路上的人,更容易達到目的。............................................................

2:13 AM  
Blogger 吳吳 said...

成功多屬於那些很快做出決定,卻又不輕易變更的人。而失敗也經常屬於那些很難做出決定,卻又經常變更的人.................................................................

7:24 PM  
Blogger 吳婷婷 said...

People throw stones only at trees with fruit on them.............................................................

10:35 PM  
Blogger 新順 said...

不簡單..一路走來辛苦了-..................................................................

12:13 AM  
Blogger 婉婷 said...

如果成為一支火柴,也要點亮一個短暫的宇宙;如果是一隻烏鴉,也要叫疼閉塞的耳膜。..................................................................

11:00 AM  
Blogger 怡迪怡迪 said...

When everything is coming your way, you are in the wrong lane.............................................................

10:28 PM  
Blogger KyungBivo中如 said...

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2:50 PM  
Blogger 承蘋承蘋 said...

學而時習之,不亦樂乎˙ω˙............................................................

12:15 AM  
Blogger 謝謝孟凱惠敏 said...

老天爺賦予了強者的能力,就是要他比弱者多擔待..................................................

9:56 PM  
Blogger 吳怡君吳怡君 said...

當最困難的時候,也就是離成功不遠的時候。..................................................

8:22 PM  
Blogger 文王廷 said...

婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。.................................................................

9:29 PM  
Blogger 伸周怡周怡 said...

良言一句三冬暖,惡語傷人六月寒。......................................................................

12:10 AM  
Blogger 韋陳富 said...

一時的錯誤不算什麼,錯而不改才是一生中永遠且最大的錯誤..................................................

5:53 PM  
Blogger 文王廷 said...

No pains, no gains..................................................................

5:59 AM  
Blogger 信陳定 said...

只有尋常才幹,但具有不尋常恆心的人,一切皆可獲取................................................

7:57 PM  
Blogger /798 said...

人們不缺少力量,他們缺少意志。..................................................

2:34 AM  
Blogger 孫邦柔 said...

你文章很棒的~繼續分享給大家~~~~..................................................

3:30 AM  
Blogger 孫邦柔 said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

3:23 PM  
Blogger 幸平平平平杰 said...

噴泉的高度,不會超過它的源頭。一個人的事業也是如此,它的成就絕不會超過自己的信念。........................................ ........................

12:52 AM  
Blogger 黃英吳思潔吳思潔邦 said...

認清問題就等於已經解決了一半的問題。..................................................

5:39 AM  
Blogger elaine said...

HI, I was looking for some inspiring adoption reunion quotes when I came upon your blog. Seems I'm always looking for the next inspiring quote to get me through.

I'm an adult adoptee, reunited birth mother and for the past 5 yrs a confidential intermediary, for search and reunion. Sometimes I speak on panels to tell how it was in the 70's to be a birthmom. No matter how many times I speak I feel like I'm not telling the truth. I don't say how truly pissed off I am about the whole deal, but it was my fault, right? I made this decision not matter what my external resources were or weren't...And I have about 5 minutes to speak. Are you kidding? I have found my son and birth family, but now I am guilty of being a Shadow mom and sister.

A few weeks ago I realized the only way thru it is thru it. Like you, I don't want to be remembered for the trauma I experienced. So I decided I also need to write a book . As far as publishing it, I don't really care, but maybe I should I'm a perfectionist and I know it will take a long time. I know what you mean about writing for the laymen. They will never get it so please don't be discouraged when your group rides your last good nerve.

I have started contacted old aquaintences that were there during my pregnancy because I can't remember a damn thing. Except dreading the adoption agency and being way too emotional to begin to get "counseling". Anyway, I hope you are still working on this project and hope that you will send me love as I am sending you.

Best-
Not so "Joyfuldiva"

10:48 PM  

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